Aloha, I’m Koalani
Postpartum & Anxiety Therapist in San Diego, CA
Finding the right therapist matters…
You deserve more than someone who simply listens. You deserve someone who helps you feel safe enough to be honest, slows things down when life feels overwhelming, and reminds you that you don't have to carry everything all by yourself.
I believe meaningful therapy begins with feeling safe. Because when trust is there, you don't have to filter yourself, perform, or pretend you're okay.
I'm Koalani, a perinatal mental health specialist in San Diego, CA, providing virtual therapy throughout California, and I'm so glad you're here.
I Know What It’s Like To Live With Anxiety While Holding Everything Together…
For as long as I can remember, I have been the person who figures things out. The one who plans, notices what needs to be done, and holds everything together—even when it feels like too much.
I know what it feels like to believe that if I don’t do it, no one will. To feel guilty when I can't do enough, worry about disappointing others, and struggle to let myself be supported. Becoming a mother brought this to the surface. Alongside the joy of motherhood, I experienced isolation, emotional disconnection, chronic exhaustion, and moments where I didn't feel like myself.
Here's what changed: I learned that being strong doesn't mean doing everything alone. Asking for support doesn't mean I can't handle hard things—it means I don't have to carry everything by myself. Together, we'll untangle the guilt, the pressure, and the expectations you've been carrying so you can begin responding differently—to yourself, your relationships, and the challenges life brings.
⟡ Maybe you’re tired of feeling like everything depends on you. You’re the one who remembers, prepares, and makes sure things don’t fall through the cracks. Even when things are going well, it feels hard to fully relax.
⟡ Maybe becoming a parent has been harder than you expected. You love your family deeply, but you feel overwhelmed, disconnected, or unsure of yourself. You’re carrying emotions you never expected and wondering why this transition feels so difficult.
If this feels familiar, I’m glad you’re here. Therapy is a space where you don't have to have all the answers or figure everything out on your own. Together, we'll help you find a steadier, more compassionate way forward.
What It’s Like To Work Together
Virtual therapy throughout California for adults navigating anxiety, pregnancy, postpartum, infertility, birth trauma, and major life transitions.
AUTHENTIC
I show up as a real person, not just a therapist. Some days I'll have my coffee in hand, my hair in just a bun, and life happening around me too. My hope is that you'll feel just as comfortable showing up exactly as you are—without pressure to perform or have it all together.
INCLUSIVE
You don't have to explain or minimize the parts of yourself that make you who you are. Your identity, culture, relationships, beliefs, and lived experiences are welcomed with curiosity, respect, and care.
COLLABORATIVE
Therapy isn't something I do to you—it's something we do together. I'll meet you where you are, adapt to what you need, and work at a pace that feels supportive, whether you're navigating anxiety, life transitions, or rocking a baby during session.
INTENTIONAL
I believe meaningful change takes time. We won't rush toward quick fixes or surface-level solutions. Instead, we'll slow down, get curious, and create lasting change that feels genuine and sustainable.
A Little About Me Personally
Outside of the therapy room, you’ll likely find me chasing down my two energetic (sometimes feral) boys, sitting down to coffee with a friend, or walking outside listening to a podcast or audiobook (currently in an Emily Henry and Abby Jimenez phase). As a proud elder millennial, I’m a huge fan of movies and TV from the '80s, '90s, and early 2000s—I tend to think in movie quotes and song lyrics. I love to dance and will happily spend hours watching people dance in all forms, from Argentine Tango to Tap. I’m also unapologetically a Potterhead. I create a Harry Potter-themed Halloween every year and am constantly thinking of ways to add to it.
My Native Hawaiian culture and connection to Indigenous communities are deeply important to me. My own experiences of navigating motherhood and life far from where I grew up, while trying to stay connected to my community, allow me to create a safe space of understanding for clients. For me, getting to be a therapist is a deep honor and privilege.
I'm also a big believer that therapists should go to therapy (I love my therapist!). Having my own therapist reminds me that we all deserve a space where we can show up honestly, be supported, and be fully human.
My approach is grounded in both lived experience and advanced clinical training, including EMDR, ACT, mindfulness, self-compassion, and evidence-based approaches for anxiety and perinatal mental health. If you're interested, you can learn more about my background below.
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California Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, #93756
MA in Marriage and Family Therapy, University of San Diego
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EMDR (Levels 1 & 2)
Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT)
Advanced Psychotherapy for Perinatal Mood Disorders
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
Mindful Self-Compassion
Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR)
AAMFT Approved Supervisor
Certified Infant Massage Instructor
Certified Positive Discipline Parent Educator
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Depending on your goals and what you're bringing into session, our work may include:
Grounding & Somatic Practices
Helping your nervous system slow down when anxiety feels overwhelming, so your body and mind can begin to feel more settled.EMDR & Trauma-Informed Therapy
Processing difficult experiences that continue to shape how you think, feel, and respond today.Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT)
Learning to respond to difficult thoughts and emotions with greater flexibility while moving toward the life that matters most to you.Self-Compassion Practices
Quieting your inner critic and developing a kinder, more supportive relationship with yourself.
READY TO START POSTPARTUM & ANXIETY THERAPY VIRTUALLY THROUGHOUT CALIFORNIA?
Let’s Get Started!
Koalani Lahr, LMFT
Postpartum & Anxiety Therapist in San Diego, CA
Virtual Therapy throughout California:
Call or Text (619) 859-5551 to get started today!
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I work with clients across the entire state. Even if your specific town isn't listed below, we can absolutely work together as long as you live anywhere in California!
Southern California: San Diego, Los Angeles, Orange County, La Jolla, Del Mar, Carlsbad, Oceanside, Escondido, Encinitas, Chula Vista, La Mesa, Point Loma, Temecula, Laguna Beach, Newport Beach, Anaheim, Irvine, Long Beach, Santa Monica, Culver City, Pasadena, Glendale, Santa Barbara, Riverside, San Bernadino.
Northern California & Bay Area: San Francisco, San Jose, Oakland, Sacramento, Palo Alto, Berkeley, Walnut Creek, San Mateo, San Rafael, Santa Cruz, Fresno, Bakersfield, Modesto, Santa Rosa, Nevada City…and all surrounding communities.