Aloha, I’m Koalani

Anxiety & Postpartum Therapist in San Diego, CA

California therapist Koalani Lahr, LMFT, providing a warm and welcoming space for anxiety and perinatal mental health.

Finding the right therapist matters…

You deserve more than someone who simply listens. You deserve someone who helps you feel safe enough to be honest, slows things down when life feels overwhelming, and reminds you that you don't have to carry everything all by yourself.

I believe meaningful therapy begins with feeling safe. Because when trust is there, you don't have to filter yourself, perform, or pretend you're okay. That's where lasting healing begins.

I'm Koalani, an anxiety and postpartum therapist in San Diego, CA, and I'm so glad you're here.

SCHEDULE A FREE CONSULTATION

I Know What It’s Like To Hold It All Together…

For as long as I can remember, I have been the person who figures things out. The one who plans, notices what needs to be done, and holds everything together—even when it feels like too much.

I know what it feels like to believe that if I don’t do it, no one will. To feel guilty when I can't do enough, worry about disappointing others, and struggle to let myself be supported. Becoming a mother brought this to the surface. Alongside the joy of motherhood, I experienced isolation, emotional disconnection, chronic exhaustion, and moments where I didn't feel like myself.

Here's what changed: I learned that being strong doesn't mean doing everything alone. Asking for support doesn't mean I can't handle hard things—it means I don't have to carry everything by myself. Together, we'll untangle the guilt, the pressure, and the expectations you've been carrying so you can begin responding differently—to yourself, your relationships, and the challenges life brings.

⟡ Maybe you’re tired of feeling like everything depends on you. You’re the one who remembers, prepares, and makes sure things don’t fall through the cracks. Even when things are going well, it feels hard to fully relax.

⟡ Maybe becoming a parent has been harder than you expected. You love your family deeply, but you feel overwhelmed, disconnected, or unsure of yourself. You’re carrying emotions you never expected and wondering why this transition feels so difficult.

If this feels familiar, I’m glad you’re here. Therapy is a space where you don’t have to have all the answers or hold everything together. Together, we’ll help you find a steadier, more compassionate way forward.

BOOK A CONSULTATION

What It’s Like To Work Together

Virtual therapy throughout California for anxiety, pregnancy, and postpartum.

AUTHENTIC

I show up as a real person, not just a therapist. Some days I'll have my coffee in hand, my hair in just a bun, and life happening around me too. My hope is that you'll feel just as comfortable showing up exactly as you are—without pressure to perform or have it all together.

INCLUSIVE

You don't have to explain or minimize the parts of yourself that make you who you are. Your identity, culture, relationships, beliefs, and lived experiences are welcomed with curiosity, respect, and care.

COLLABORATIVE

Therapy isn't something I do to you—it's something we do together. I'll meet you where you are, adapt to what you need, and work at a pace that feels supportive, whether you're navigating anxiety, life transitions, or rocking a baby during session.

INTENTIONAL

I believe meaningful change takes time. We won't rush toward quick fixes or surface-level solutions. Instead, we'll slow down, get curious, and create lasting change that feels genuine and sustainable.

Services Offered

Therapy for Pregnancy & Postpartum

Therapy for Anxiety

Multicultural & BIPOC Therapy

Mindfulness Therapy

Infant Massage

A Glimpse Into My World

I am a Native Hawaiian, mom of two wild and wonderful boys, elder millennial, and lover of good coffee. My boys keep me laughing, humbled, and occasionally counting down until bedtime.

I’m a huge fan of movies and television from the 80s, 90s, and early 2000s (yes, I still quote them, but somehow always misplace my phone). I love dance in all forms, from Argentine Tango to Tap, and could happily spend hours watching people express themselves through movement. When I’m not working, you’ll probably find me outside with an audiobook or podcast, renewing library books I swear I’m going to read, traveling, or attempting to keep a sourdough starter alive.

My Hawaiian culture and connection to Indigenous communities are deeply important to me. I also believe therapists should go to therapy (I love my therapist!). Having my own therapist has reminded me that we all deserve a space where we can show up honestly, be supported, and be fully human.

My approach is grounded in both lived experience and advanced clinical training. If you're interested, you can learn more about my background below.

  • California Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, #93756

    MA in Marriage and Family Therapy, University of San Diego

    • EMDR (Levels 1 & 2)

    • Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT)

    • Advanced Psychotherapy for Perinatal Mood Disorders

    • Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

    • Mindful Self-Compassion

    • Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR)

    • Certified Infant Massage Instructor

    • AAMFT Approved Supervisor

    • Certified Positive Discipline Parent Educator

  • Depending on your goals and what you're bringing into session, our work may include:

    Grounding & Somatic Practices
    Helping your nervous system slow down when anxiety feels overwhelming, so your body and mind can begin to feel more settled.

    EMDR & Trauma-Informed Therapy
    Processing difficult experiences that continue to shape how you think, feel, and respond today.

    Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT)
    Learning to respond to difficult thoughts and emotions with greater flexibility while moving toward the life that matters most to you.

    Self-Compassion Practices
    Quieting your inner critic and developing a kinder, more supportive relationship with yourself.

READY TO START ANXIETY & POSTPARTUM THERAPY VIRTUALLY THROUGHOUT CALIFORNIA?

Let’s Get Started!

Koalani Lahr, LMFT

Anxiety & Postpartum Therapist in San Diego, CA

Virtual Therapy throughout California:

San Diego | La Jolla | Del Mar | Carlsbad| Oceanside | Escondido| La Mesa | Point Loma | Temecula| Laguna | Anaheim | Irvine | Los Angeles| Long Beach| Santa Monica | Culver City | Pasadena | Glendale | Santa Barbara | San Francisco | San Jose| Palo Alto | Sacramento | Oakland | Nevada City| and more…

Call or Text (619) 859-5551 to get started today!

BOOK YOUR CONSULTATION CALL TODAY