WHEN BECOMING A PARENT FEELS HARDER THAN YOU EXPECTED
Postpartum Therapy in San Diego, CA
In-person postpartum therapy in San Diego and virtual therapy throughout California
The sleepless nights are only part of it. You're exhausted, questioning every decision, and wondering if you're a good parent. Maybe you don't feel like yourself anymore, or it seems like everyone else is handling this better than you are.
Maybe you've spent months—or even years—dreaming of becoming a parent, only to find yourself overwhelmed, anxious, and asking yourself, Why doesn't this feel the way I thought it would? Maybe you feel disconnected from your partner or your baby. You can't stop thinking about the birth, feeding journey, or postpartum experience you thought you'd have, and what you could have done differently.
Therapy offers a space to slow down, make sense of what you're experiencing, and reconnect with yourself as you navigate parenthood. Together, we'll quiet the self-criticism, build self-compassion, and help you feel more grounded, confident, and connected—to yourself, your baby, and the life you're creating.
Parenthood Doesn't Always Feel the Way You Imagined
✧ You can love your baby and still feel overwhelmed.
✧ You can be grateful and still grieve the pregnancy, birth, feeding journey, or transition to parenthood you thought you'd have.
✧ You can feel deeply connected to your family and still miss who you were before becoming a parent.
✧ You can be functioning, caring for your baby, and doing everything you're supposed to do while privately wondering, “Why am I struggling this much?”
There is room for all of it.
Becoming a parent is beautiful and overwhelming and exciting and terrifying and wonderful and sometimes all at once.
Life can feel overwhelming, and you don’t have to face it alone.
Postpartum Therapy is right for you if…
⟡ You feel guilty all the time, like you’re never doing enough.
⟡ You’re exhausted, but can't seem to relax.
⟡ Even the smallest things feel overwhelming, and you don't know why.
⟡ You thought you'd feel happier or more connected, but instead you're just trying to get through the day.
⟡ Your pregnancy, birth, feeding journey, or postpartum experience wasn't what you hoped for—and you feel guilty grieving it because you think you should just be grateful.
⟡ You’re afraid people will think you’re a bad mom/dad if you ask for help. And you sometimes believe that you’re a bad mom/dad.
⟡ You compare yourself to others, and often think why is it so much easier for everyone else?
You deserve the care that you give
Imagine moving from:
⟡ Feeling anxious, overwhelmed, and weighed down by guilt
→ To feeling more grounded, trusting yourself, and making choices that feel right for you and your family
⟡ Second-guessing yourself and wondering if you’re doing enough
→ To feeling more confident in your decisions and less controlled by fear and self-doubt
⟡ Feeling disconnected from yourself, your baby, your partner, or the person you were before parenthood
→ To feeling more present, connected, and at home in yourself
⟡ Running on empty and feeling like you’re failing
→ To understanding what you need, responding to yourself with compassion, and finding more balance in this season
The journey into parenthood doesn’t always look the way we imagined.
Whether you’re facing challenges before, during, or after bringing a baby home, you deserve support through every part of the experience.
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In a nutshell, perinatal mental health includes all the intricacies of pregnancy, postpartum, and the transition to parenthood.
Whether your navigating infertility and IVF, pregnancy loss, pregnancy, birth trauma, postpartum anxiety and depression, postpartum rage, intrusive thoughts, and the many emotional challenges that can come with becoming a parent I am here to support you. You may also simply feel overwhelmed, disconnected, or unlike yourself.
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The journey to becoming a parent doesn’t always look the way you imagined. Infertility, IVF, pregnancy loss, a high-risk pregnancy, or birth trauma can bring grief, anxiety, guilt, and emotions that are difficult to process.
You don’t have to minimize what you went through or feel grateful just because you became a parent.
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Many new parents experience emotional ups and downs while adjusting to life with a baby. If anxiety, sadness, guilt, anger, or overwhelm feel intense, last longer than 2 weeks, or make it difficult to enjoy daily life, it may be a sign you need more support.
You don’t have to wait until things feel unbearable to reach out.
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Postpartum anxiety can show up as racing thoughts, constant worry, feeling on edge, difficulty relaxing, or a persistent fear that something bad might happen. You may find yourself repeatedly checking on your baby, seeking reassurance, replaying decisions, or struggling to quiet “what if” thoughts.
Some parents also experience intrusive thoughts—unwanted or distressing thoughts that can feel frightening or confusing. Having intrusive thoughts does not mean you want to act on them. Therapy can provide a supportive space to talk openly about what you're experiencing without judgment.
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Postpartum depression can look different for everyone. It may include persistent sadness, guilt, irritability, feeling disconnected from yourself or your baby, loss of joy, exhaustion, or feeling like you're simply going through the motions.
For some parents, it can also show up as intense anger or postpartum rage. You can love your baby deeply and still struggle emotionally during this transition. Experiencing these feelings does not make you a bad parent, and you don't have to navigate them alone.
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Absolutely. The transition into parenthood can be challenging for partners as well.
Dads and partners may feel overwhelmed by expectations, disconnected from themselves or their relationship, unsure how to support their family, or surprised by emotions they didn’t expect.
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Many parents feel guilty for struggling because they thought becoming a parent would feel different. You can love your baby and still feel exhausted, anxious, overwhelmed, or disconnected.
Having these feelings does not mean you’re a bad parent.
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Yes. Many parents who seek support are still working, caring for their baby, and doing everything they need to do while privately feeling overwhelmed.
Come in person or connect from your couch. Either way works!
In-Person Therapy in San Diego, CA
Located in Sorrento Valley, one-on-one therapy for feelings of anxiety, overwhelm, rage, and guilt. For parents and non-parents.
Virtual Therapy In California
Virtual one-on-one therapy for people-pleasers, perfectionists, and high-achievers navigating pregnancy, postpartum, or other life transitions.
So What Happens Next?
What Therapy Can Look Like
We create a space where you don't have to pretend you're okay or have all the answers.
We'll slow down and make sense of the anxiety, guilt, grief, anger, or overwhelm you're carrying.
Together, we'll work toward feeling more grounded, connected, and compassionate with yourself as you navigate parenthood.
Reach out to a Postpartum Therapist in San Diego, CA today!
Meet Your San Diego Postpartum Therapist
KOALANI LAHR, LMFT
Aloha, I’m Koalani, a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist who specializes in supporting parents through the emotional challenges of pregnancy, postpartum, and the transition into parenthood. Whether you’re feeling overwhelmed by the demands of parenting, disconnected from yourself or your relationships, or struggling with the gap between the experience you hoped for and the one you’re living, you deserve support and understanding.
I’ve spent years supporting individuals and families through some of life’s biggest transitions. Many of the parents I work with come to therapy feeling exhausted, unsure of themselves, and disconnected from who they were before becoming a parent.
As a mother of two, I understand that parenthood can bring both incredible love and unexpected challenges. I believe you deserve a space where all parts of your experience are welcomed, and where you can reconnect with yourself, build self-compassion, and feel more grounded in this season of life.
I offer postpartum therapy in San Diego for parents navigating pregnancy, postpartum, birth experiences, and the transition into parenthood.
Whether you are navigating the complexities of a difficult pregnancy, the grief of a loss, or the quiet intensity of postpartum life, there is a way through. It genuinely gets better with the right support, and I would love to connect with you.
The pressure to be perfect as a parent is real. And it’s exhausting.
ANXIETY THERAPY
Anxiety can also show up during pregnancy and postpartum. If worry and overthinking are a major part of what you’re experiencing, you can learn more about anxiety therapy here.
A gentle way to slow down, connect through touch, and support your baby’s comfort while strengthening the bond between you.
Learn infant massage strokes and help promote sleep, deepen relaxation, relieve gas, and spend some quality time with your baby.
Want to learn more?
If you're curious about perinatal mental health, this resource from Postpartum Support International offers helpful information about the signs, symptoms, and treatment of perinatal mental health conditions. Just click the logo below.
READY TO START POSTPARTUM THERAPY IN SAN DIEGO, CA?
In-person therapy available in Sorrento Valley and virtual therapy throughout California.
Call or Text (619) 859-5551 to get started today!